Boys and Girls

In high school, there are several different types of boy-girl relationships:

Just Friends--Believe it or not, it's possible. Boys and girls can be friends without dating! In fact, they probably have the most coveted relationship of all. They don't have to worry about looking good or saying "I love you." They're basically like brother and sister... in a less awkward way.

Friends with Benefits--This does not necessarily mean that the two people are "friends." More likely, it means, "I'm horny, so let's have sex whenever we feel like it with no attachments." Not to judge here, but most people involved in the relationship are labeled as "whores/sluts" or "players/ bros." I'm not the one labeling. I just listen.

The "I love you, but not really" relationship--it seems that they have a great relationship. They love each other. It's been three days. Total span of the relationship? Maybe two months. It's what most high school relationships turn out to be. This is why girls end up having twelve different boyfriends in high school.

The Legit Relationship--There are very few. These people are mature. By mature, I mean that these people can hold down a relationship with discussion and compromise. They're compatible. They didn't say "ily!" or "I luv mah baby!" or anything like "The L word" too soon into the relationship.

It's probably difficult to believe that I'm sixteen and have never had a boyfriend. Never been kissed, in fact. Am I bitter? Yeah, just a little. It's a bit offensive when people are so shocked, or worse, not shocked. It could be because I'm ugly. Or because I'm opinionated. Or I'm intimidating. Or independent. But I'm not stupid. And I'm not inadequate. And, yes, I get crushes. I have guy friends. I have plenty of friend. But I don't put out. Maybe that's the problem.

I imagine myself ending up like Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed, finally finding that perfect guy and kissing at sunset and whatnot. Just kidding. I don't have such foolish, frivolous fantasies. I'm no pansy.

That's a lie.

I am a bit of a pansy. I do make wishes (but not on airplanes-- that's annoying). I'm not brave. I'm not so independent to the point that I don't care. But I can pretend I am.

I'm afraid to be lonely, but I want a meaningful relationship.

I'm just saying.

Grinding at School Dances

Last night was homecoming at my school, you see. I didn't have a date. (On a side note of that, my oh-so-caring friends decided to try to convince my best guy friend to ask me. Awkward-ness ensued.) I had to suffer through the scarring images of seeing people grind. I'm talking girl-butt to boy-genitals. Gross, right? I mean, I would at least want to look at the person I'm dancing with. There are several reasons I'm opposed to the grinding.

The attitude of those "grinders" (at least a majority of them) is arrogant. At least those that I've encountered. Excuse me for not wanting to look at you get groped by your not-boyfriend. Excuse me for not wanting to see your panties. Excuse me for having values. But please allow me to enjoy the dance in the way that I want. I didn't shove you out of the grinding pit for being disgusting, so why did you push and say "keep moving" when I just wanted to dance? Ok, I'll admit, I wanted to annoy people a little because I don't care what they think, but come on! Way to be a jerk. I bet your mom is proud.

Tell me you have some self-respect. Tell me you don't want to feel and look like a slut. There are several (maybe three) girls who were grinding with their dates who I truly respect, but I was honestly shocked. I still am! It may be my naivety speaking, but I would feel as if I were sacrificing my virtue if I were dry-humping a guy, as much as I might like him. Not to mention the fact it's like one big, giant, freakin' orgy there! No one cares who they're dancing with, just so long as there a butt rubbing against him. *shudders*

And then there are the couples who even the "grinders" want to tell to get a room! You know that's bad. They're the ones who are all-out making out, fingering each other, and the guy has his hand up the girl's dress. It gets that bad. Yet none of the administrators do anything to enforce their threats.

Now let's get to the lights. My school happened to leave the back half of the gym's lights on in order to discourage inappropriate dancing. Did discourage anything? Of course not! It just ticked everyone off even more. If the administration is going to threaten the students, please go through with it and kick people out. Don't make half attempts that tick off both grinders and non-grinders alike.

I would like for you to tell me. What's so appealing about grinding, to you? I'll listen, I promise. Well, I'll read anyway. To a girl, how do you not find it degrading and offensive? How do you find it enjoyable? And if you're a guy, let me know as well. Although I suppose I can guess how it satisfies you. I just agree more with the adult generation right now. I don't understand my peers and their dancing.

I'm just saying.