Boys and Girls

In high school, there are several different types of boy-girl relationships:

Just Friends--Believe it or not, it's possible. Boys and girls can be friends without dating! In fact, they probably have the most coveted relationship of all. They don't have to worry about looking good or saying "I love you." They're basically like brother and sister... in a less awkward way.

Friends with Benefits--This does not necessarily mean that the two people are "friends." More likely, it means, "I'm horny, so let's have sex whenever we feel like it with no attachments." Not to judge here, but most people involved in the relationship are labeled as "whores/sluts" or "players/ bros." I'm not the one labeling. I just listen.

The "I love you, but not really" relationship--it seems that they have a great relationship. They love each other. It's been three days. Total span of the relationship? Maybe two months. It's what most high school relationships turn out to be. This is why girls end up having twelve different boyfriends in high school.

The Legit Relationship--There are very few. These people are mature. By mature, I mean that these people can hold down a relationship with discussion and compromise. They're compatible. They didn't say "ily!" or "I luv mah baby!" or anything like "The L word" too soon into the relationship.

It's probably difficult to believe that I'm sixteen and have never had a boyfriend. Never been kissed, in fact. Am I bitter? Yeah, just a little. It's a bit offensive when people are so shocked, or worse, not shocked. It could be because I'm ugly. Or because I'm opinionated. Or I'm intimidating. Or independent. But I'm not stupid. And I'm not inadequate. And, yes, I get crushes. I have guy friends. I have plenty of friend. But I don't put out. Maybe that's the problem.

I imagine myself ending up like Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed, finally finding that perfect guy and kissing at sunset and whatnot. Just kidding. I don't have such foolish, frivolous fantasies. I'm no pansy.

That's a lie.

I am a bit of a pansy. I do make wishes (but not on airplanes-- that's annoying). I'm not brave. I'm not so independent to the point that I don't care. But I can pretend I am.

I'm afraid to be lonely, but I want a meaningful relationship.

I'm just saying.